Net Neutrality brings Religious Fundamentalists together

     The greedy suits of big companies have done what the so called prophets and even Gods couldn't achieve. The various religious denominations of the world have unanimously though unfortunately separately have come out in support of net neutrality.
     Using their time tested formula of citing religious texts, the intelligentsia of many well known religions have declared that net neutrality is and always had been a basic tenet of their respective religions.
     The Priests' Association for Democratic Resolution (PADRE) mentioned verses from the controversial Dead Sea scrolls as evidence that Jesus supported net neutrality and denounced any individual or a group that attempted to alter it.
     Around the same time, the Dharm and Karma Siddhi Niyantran Ayojak (DAKSHINA), a fundamentalist offshoot of Hinduism quoted a verse from their religious text, The Bhagwad Geeta "Strange are the ways of Karma." to claim that their Lord Krishna was pro internet neutrality and would smite down with the radiance of a thousand suns, any attempt to take it away.
     The Islamic Noori Salaf Fiqhi (INSAAF)  long considered to be an ISIS sympathizer has also issued a fatwa proclaiming cognizance to net neutrality and advised devout Muslims to do the same.
     Close to the announcement of the big three, various smaller religious groups like the Buddhists, Jains, Shintoists, Confuciusists, Hebrews, Animists and Parsis too have declared their support for Internet neutrality although reports are still conflicted on interpretative authority.
     The most evident proof of a religious text containing tenets on net neutrality was contained in the Bible of Scientology to which a noted actor on condition of anonymity said "who's laughing now,bitch."
     The Pastafarians, copimists and several other parody religions have voiced support for the viral mass movement but owing to the absence of a comprehensive religious text couldn't comment with any credibility.