Doomsday Specialist wants world to be communal

Maverick fortune-teller and chronic alcoholic Baba Farzi topi has sent virtual tremors along the political world by claiming that religious communalism is actually good for the world and political parties endorsing such views are actually ahead of its time.

He had just had his fifth of vodka when he got a vision of the future where the civilisational breakdown had a temporary sobering effect on him. Once back in this realm, Baba Farzi hurriedly started his world famous permutating combinations and reached the conclusion that the absence of religious fundamentalism in 2050 AD was its root cause.

"Hardcore football fans, especially the Manchester United affiliated Red Army is the single largest terror organisation in the future." said the baba. He further explains that given our inherent urge to be social, Man organises himself into various groups which later evolve into "cradles of fundamentalism" causing us to hate other groups. In the absence of religious bigotry in the future, impressionable men became football fundamentalists. Ironically they are mostly concentrated in the developed countries unlike the religious kind which today exists mostly in the less developed countries said the Baba trying to add humor to the grim forebodings.

Elaborating on the visions, the baba warned of many smaller terror outfits affiliated to lesser known football clubs of today as the most dangerous. Unlike religion, football fanatics change their allegiance on a match to match basis with some even subscribing to multiple outfits causing utter chaos and breakdown of law and order. This lead to a fundamentalist rising like the ISIS and terrorism got a new face, he said trying to add more jokes.

FIFA boss Mr. Sepp Blatter has called these warnings as "unfounded figments of an ugly lunatic." Political parties worldwide have no consensus on the predictions. 38 countries have banned football with immediate effect. 12 countries have sent diplomatic ambassadors to the Middle East on an educational tour.

Religious fundamentalists worldwide however have welcomed the new change.