The Retarded Satirist

    Our ancestors lived in caves and had simpler tastes and needs than us. Yet, even in those days, as is evidenced by cave paintings all over the world, man desired personalization of his humble abode.      Over the years, as our acumen expanded and our choices diversified, the need for personalization grew exponentially. The Rajas and the Maharajas commissioned and in the process, enriched the artisans and professionals, who built their magnificent monuments and fashioned their clothes and utensils in their quest for personalizations befitting an Emperor. Sadly, the industrial revolution established large factories that killed personalization at the altar of productivity.      Fast forward to the modern era and we see a return of personalization as factories’ efficiencies have evened out and businesses are on the lookout for the panacea that attracts audiences by the droves.      In this hyper connect...

Thanks to the information age, we don’t have to tell you that you need a website if you’re running a business. But thanks to information overload, most of us still don’t realize the importance of customized websites. It breaks our collective hearts to see website after website, blog after blog limited to theme customizations and font style formatting. Do you really think that changing the font size to 10.5 from 8.5 will bring swarms of millions of people to that website? NO. IT NEVER HAD A CHANCE. Now, if customization was easy, or if could have been taught in schools, then everybody would have been doing it. Fortunately, it’s not. Customization is specific and relative at the same time. Going by the fingerprint analogy, no two websites should look the same. Each website has unique customization needs which are a combination of: Your Expectations. Your Audiences’ Expectations. Your Vision for the future. Let’s understand that by means of examp...

What do you think is the best time to advertise your product? If you answered as soon as you ideate the product then you’re on the right path. Congrats. For the rest of you, we bring a comprehensive solution that answers why your product is not flying off the shelves. What exactly is Pre Launch Management? Pre Launch Management (PLM from now onwards) is exactly what it sounds like – a term likely created by marketing gurus to manage and enhance sales. Jokes apart, PLM is the under-utilized cousin of Post Product Launch Campaigning. PLM at its core is creating a buzz around the launch of your product in a carefully timed and voluminous manner that arouses the attention of audiences such that you have a sizeable portion of your customers lining up when you pull the curtains from your product at launch.  How else do you think Harry Potter books and Xbox game titles have millions of Pre-Order Sales? They create a hype around the launch their books/game such that everyb...

The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends that there be 1 healthcare professional for every 1000 of population. The flaw in this method is the same as using gross domestic product to calculate per capita income. Thankfully the economists have rectified their mistakes but the doctors lag behind.      We produce more doctors each year than most countries put together. Yet barring a few Indians, the majority Bhartiya are cruelly denied the right to seek decent healthcare because there exists none for them. It is this fundamentally reprehensible inequality that we should aim to overcome as doctors. We should employ a multi-pronged strategy to overwhelm and overcome the scourge of inaccessible healthcare.      Firstly, we should harness mobile apps  which consolidate and update the recent advances in dentistry making it feasible for everybody with a smartphone to educate themselves and their peers about the various trends and modalities. ...

Tucked within a valley of the Hohe Tauern mountain ranges is the city of Bad #Gastein in #Austria and is famous for its resplendent pre World War 1 architecture. ‘Bad’ here translates to #spa and advertises the chief draw of the town. Marie Curie discovered Radon here and that lead to #Radon #therapy outlets cropping up to cater to the demands of innumerable tourists. Once you're here, you should check out the following #restaurants for their raw food local cuisine. Wirtshaus #Jägerhäusl You must try the colorful salad with grilled chicken strips served with raw pumpkin seeds which taste as heavenly as they sound. Baked #prawns and fried #shrimp should also not be missed. Gasthaus #Bäckerwirtsgut With great popularity comes long waiting lines and that's the only issue with this restaurant. However their food will be worth the wait and then some more. Their #sachertorte is out of this world. #Orania-Stüberl It is an amazing family run restaurant wh...

A popular holiday and surfing destination, #Sunshine Coast is situated in the North East of the island continent of #Australia. The natural flora and fauna are preserved well by the five national parks situated here which ameliorate the beauty of this popular destination. We present to you top ten #hiking trails for you to undertake once you get to #Queensland. You can bring your own trekking gear or purchase all your requirements from the local #trekking #shops dotting the entire coast #Caloundra coastal pathway This 15 mile long trek boasts of a view ranging from #dolphins of #Pumicetown Passage to the world war 2 era military jetties which were extensively used in this region. #Buderim Forest This trail is not for those with fitness issues as the terrain can be pretty #rugged. The bridge that you see here was built offsite and placed here by a helicopter. #Maroochydore to #Mooloolaba Esplanade Well known for its rock #pools and #whales which visit frequently, this hiking tr...

Online shopping is the one thing that your old timer tailor-master wants dead. It eats up his business faster than the cookie monster chomping on chocolate cookies. But we love it. What's better than window shopping minus the walking and the sweating with the added bonus of having munchies at arm’s length at all times? However, we bring to you 5 reasons why you should ditch the phone and sweat it out in the sun. (WYSIWIG ) WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET is the top reason. check out the consumer forums and the horrible reviews most online retail stores get and suddenly trying before you buy becomes your number 1 reason. There's a reason why your mom and dad are sceptical about online shopping. From taking pictures at attractive angles to outrightly showing a different picture and sending you a different product, online retailers will try every trick in the book to separate you from your money. (Cheaper Deals)  Online retailers will try to lure you with eye catching taglines...

Take a look around, there's high currency for organization and we tell ourselves that it is with good reason. Labourers organize themselves into unions to bargain for better working conditions. Religions are organized to propagate faster and wider. Criminals form syndicates to replicate, though mostly unknowingly, the Japanese Keiretsu. The underlying theme being the binding together of assumingly lesser mortals and achieve feats which they supposedly can't as individuals. Look into those organizations a little deeper and Marxists will gleefully point out the rampant alienation of the individual units of the organization. What organizations actually achieve is a surrender of individual decision making to a higher purpose. But mind you, those decisions will have to be and will be made just not by the worker on the field but by someone so high up the chain that they haven't been on the field for years. History shows us that even the greatest of conquerors were humbled by t...

The strides in modern medicine have truly separated us from animals. We can provide limbs to our limbless, remove cancers from our diseased and everything in between. Yet, we hold ourselves back in some areas owing to our ethno-religious mores and moralities which on broad basis are beneficial but seem frighteningly disastrous on certain individual events. It is with this realization, we set out to codify our laws which broadly subscribe to our moralities while taking into account the specific requirements of special circumstances. The debate over medical termination of pregnancies is one such case where the pro-life and pro-choice camps have lobbied hard to sustain their belief systems even to the extent of radical and even perverse arguments giving lawmakers all over the world the arduous task of finding a suitable balance between the two. Balance can crudely be defined as the position that is equally not equitably acceptable to both camps while requiring both camps to forego some o...

In the pre-Bommai case era, when a national party won elections at the Centre, it consequently asked for the resignation of the state governments not aligned with its disposition. The Centre argued that the state governments had lost the mandate of the people. It was a classic case of a tussle between the the Federal and the Unitary structure of the government. Article 1 of the Indian Constitution says that - India i.e. Bharat is a union of states while the presence of a written constitution and the Seventh schedule cement the federal structure of our polity. After the Bommai case, this dissolution of state assemblies on losing power in the Centre came to an end thus adding teeth to the federal provisions of our polity. It was naively assumed that this would end the Centre-State friction and foster harmony in their relation. Sadly, this was not to be. The battleground had just changed its location. The governor, an appointee of the Centre and an integral part of the State Government ...

Germany as we see on the world map these days was not always of this shape. It was a part of the Holy Roman Empire which stretched from modern day Poland to Italy. The empire was founded by Charlemagne in the 9th Century AD( Encyclopedia Britannica Pg26) . Around 300 years after its formation, the empire went through an interregnum which was successfully ended by Rudolf the first of Germany. Due to the interregnum, there were multiple claimants to the throne apart from Rudolf himself, the most notable among them was named Ottokar. Rudolf got his coronation ratified by the then Pope and the Nuremberg Diet thereafter asked Ottokar to relinquish his claims, failing which, Rudolf defeated him in a series of battles and cemented his place as the Holy Roman Emperor. (Ingrao, Charles, The Habsburg Monarchy)  Throughout his reign, Rudolf was known to be indecisive and this was brought into the open by Dante's Divine Comedy where he is being made fun of by his contemporaries for not doing ...

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is the beast that you need to tame if you have an online business that competes with rival offerings. Staying at the cutting edge of SEO involves constant evolution and a keen eye for statistical data. What worked in 1997 is a millennium old in the Internet timeline and thus is a fossil in 2017. The explosion in statistical data over the years compounded by their diversification and obfuscation means that finding reliable data is also no mean feat. CONTENT IS KING (said Bill Gates) and it has held true all these years. Search Engines earn most of their revenue through advertising but it is the Search Bar that leads people to those advertisements. Due to this peculiar setup, Google and their ilk have constantly updated their search algorithms to project good content over “spammy” content to attract audiences to their websites. This separation of wheat from the chaff only ensures that good content is preferred but doesn’t offer solution...